Adjusting to life at home

Since I was laid off from my job in November, I have been really struggling with my self worth.  I feel like I am not a valuable member of my household since I don't get paid for what I do.  As if the simple act of getting a paycheck somehow validates me.  

I think and wonder if my contributions to my household (cleaning, shopping, cooking, yard work, budgeting) are worthy of my time and intellect.  I wonder if I am 'wasting' my degree and potential. By staying home am I setting the best example for my son both as a human being and as a woman.  Dont get me wrong, I love staying home with Elliott.  I adore the time I get to spend with him and being the person that gets to teach him the foundational and valuable life lessons.  

But, I get bored too.  I feel unfulfilled.  I feel like I am wasting my time and talent.  I feel lonely. I wonder if I am teaching Elliott the 'right' things and being a loving and patient Mom.

At the end of every day I have to feel proud of what I do (read and repeat, read and repeat) or else I feel worthless.  I am working on how to feel proud of this new path.   I am getting out of the house as often as possible.  I am taking time for me when I can.  I am giving myself time to adjust and accept.  I know that it takes a while to acclimate to anything new.  

Virtual Valentines Day

As you all know, we are on a tight budget since I was laid off in November.  We don't typically celebrate these types of holidays with gifts or lavishness anyhow, but this year we decided on a very different kind of celebration.

We decided to exchange virtual gifts.  So, we would still shop just like we were really buying the other person something special, but money wasn't an issue.  We would put it together with the same excitement of a real gift, and we would exchange them on V day.

My gift to my hubby was a new macbook, with pro-tools on it.  He liked it.

My hubby's gift to me was this:

Happy Valentine’s 

Day 2009

To my wife  –

As we have decided to give virtual gifts this year, I have created you an electronic document that lists all of your gifts in sequential order.  Enjoy.

1.        Breakfast with Matthew – I thought it would be nice to have Matthew McConaughey make you breakfast since you like him and he would be fun to have breakfast with.

2.    Then, you would be escorted by limousine to Coronado for a spa treatment. FUN and UBER relaxing.

3.       Then, you would come back to the house and we would head out for a walk through Torrey Pines State Park with Elliott and Whiskey.  Since it’s virtual, dogs are now allowed at the State Park.  J

4.    We would probably be hungry.  Good thing…  because Colin Melloy will be at our house fixing lunch for you.  After lunch, you get a private acoustic performance in the living room and a kiss on the cheek from your “other” boyfriend.

5.       Then… it’s off to a $1000 shopping spree at Fashion Valley.  Elliott and I will follow you around in a shopping cart while you go crazy!

6.       I hope you worked up an appetite, because we are going to Bombay for dinner.  MMMM…  Delicious Dizzy Noo Shak!

7.       And when all is said and done… we put Elliott down and you get to snuggle up to me for some sweet lovin’ (pictures too graphic to post)!  What a great Valentine’s Day.  You must certainly love me!  Happy Virtual Valentines.  

       Now, is my husband awesome or what? 

        

6 years in one place

Today is the 6 year anniversary of living with my hubby and of living in San Diego.  Just thought I would document the monumental occasion on this here blog.

A blip in the radar

If you missed me lately, it is because I was going through a short bout of depression.  There, I said it.  Depression.  Depression.  Depression.  I (reluctantly) admit to occasionally being powerless over my hormones and body chemistry.  

Every 12 or 18 months I go through a phase where I start feeling down, and then it seems to spiral into a mild depression.  This time happened to coincide with my period.  For those of you who are loyal followers of this humble blog, you will know that my period was not welcome this month.

So, there you have it.  I am back in the saddle again--blogging, actively participating in my life, parenting with love and vigor, and checking things off of my to-do list with fervor.

And I cant let the day go by without wishing my blogs namesake a Happy Birthday.

America's Finest City

Dear City of San Diego (aka America's Finest City),

I know that we are in a nationwide and perhaps even a worldwide recession.  I am also aware that the city's income/revenue is down and tourist traffic is down.  I also know that you have had to layoff hundreds (thousands?) of valuable employees and that the city is facing a major budget shortfall.  I am also aware that our school lunch program is at risk because of the larger problems our state is having.  

While I am not unreasonable...I have to ask where the roads and public works projects rank on the list?  I value school lunches far more than our roads, but I have a larger more selfish problem right now, so indulge me.  

You see, I just spent $1300 on car repairs that all involved wear and tear related to the poor conditions of our roads.  Since I feel bitter (and a variety of other feelings not appropriate for this blog) about this, I feel the need to assign the blame to someone else.  And, lets face it--you are as good as anyone.

So, I ask you humbly, please make the repair of roads, potholes, freeways, and highways more of a priority.  Oh, and thank you for recently installing ramps at the corners of our streets.  

Sincerely,

Darwinsgirl