Monday, October 29, 2007

TV bugs

I watch about 2 hours of TV a week. One of those hours is dedicated to Grey's Anatomy. I heart that show. I have been thinking about past episodes and was wondering what happened to Izzy's kid? Remember she put her up for adoption and then she resurfaced because she had cancer or something? Grrr, I don't like it when they add drama just for drama sake.

Friday, October 26, 2007


Two amazing things happened today. Actually one was last night, but I will report on it today.

The first is that Elliott slept in his crib last night (all night). We put him down at the normal time (7pm), he slept until 10:30pm, I fed him and he fell back asleep. Woke again at 2am, same thing. He ate and went back to sleep. Woke again at 4am and 5am. Hubby took over and soothed him back to sleep. Then at 6am, he woke again and we brought him into our bed for some bonding time. It was the first night he slept all night in his crib. I hope we can continue the trend. I suspected that Elliott was getting disrupted by our tossing and turning and therefore not getting enough sleep. Hence the constant eating (to try and sooth himself back to sleep). Time will tell!

The other awesome thing to happen is that for the past week he has been taking 2 hour AM naps, and at least 1.5 hour afternoon naps (cool in itself...but wait there is more). I usually have to rock him to sleep, and then swaddle him tight in his crib. But today, I lay him in his crib tired, but wide awake, swaddled him ....and yup, you guessed it! He feel asleep on his own.

Could a Mom be any happier? **smile**

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Hair Loss??

For those of you who know me well, you will know that I HATE stray hairs. I actually have somewhat of a neurotic aversion to hairs be it human or animal. And especially other peoples hairs.

A few weeks ago I noticed that I was shedding more than normal. When I would brush my hair clumps would fall out. I find it disgusting to have hairs on me, I cant brush my teeth in a sink with hair in it, and I gag if I have to clean the drain.

So, when I started losing my hair...I was dismayed and slightly creeped out. But, from my research it is perfectly normal for a woman to lose more hair after she is greater than 12 weeks postpartum.

But who is going to help me with my neurotic problem? More on my neurosis later.

4 month check up

Elliott went to his 4 month check up with his Dad on Monday. He is doing great, growing like a weed. His weighs 18.4 pounds and is in the 95% for weight, and is 26 inches long, and in the 90% for height. He is wearing 12 month old clothes for the most part.

He got his shots, and handled the first one like a champ. But, by the time the third one hit him in the leg he was very pissed off to put it mildly. Hubby said he was glad I wasnt there to see the look of sorrow, betrayal and disbelief on his face.

The Pediatrician said we can start to introduce juice, water, solids if we wanted to. But, I am going to wait until he is at least 6 months, has some teeth, can sit up on his own, and expresses an interest in real food. I am in no hurry.

He is still sleeping very erratically. Last night he was up every 2-2.5 hours to eat. He sleeps in between hubby and I in our bed. We still swaddle him because he wont fall asleep if we dont. Although, during the night he breaks out of the blanket. Depending on who he is sleeping closer to...he will tap us with his hand--repeatedly until we wake up to care for him or feed him. He doesnt cry, he just nudges us awake and whines. It is endearing in its own baby language way.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


Yesterday, I completed my 2nd Mud Run. I haven't run since I was 4 months pregnant, however I walked with regularity throughout my entire pregnancy and beyond. I didn't run the entire thing, in fact, I walked alot of the way. I finished 15 minutes slower than my last years time, but at least I did it! I had a great time at the race, and it may have compelled me to start running again.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

108 days old

Elliott is getting more fun and expressive by the day. Hubby and I talk daily about what a joy he is to be around, and how much we love spending time with him.

He is learning new things and is happy to show them off to us. In the last few weeks he has started to smile often and just learned to laugh (a full open mouth laugh too). He smiles now on his own (with out us initiating a silly face) when something is enjoyable to him. He has started to pull his feet up to his chest, and loves it when I put his toes in his mouth. He is also beginning the process of learning how to sit up. I watch him arching his little torso into a C shape, strengthening his abdominal muscle. He doesnt hate tummy time, but you can tell it is frustrating for him. He lets out loud grunts of displeasure when I leave him on his belly for too long.

His sleep habits leave something to be desired (like...more rest). He goes to bed regularly at 7pm, I nurse him before I go to bed at 10pm, then he sleeps solidly through until about 2am. I nurse him again, but he wakes up again at 4am, and then every 30-45 minutes thereafter. However, if we can make it past 6 am or so, he will fall asleep until 7-7:30 am. We have tried to not feed him at the 4am mark hoping he will go back to sleep. No luck. I am looking for suggestions on how to get him to sleep more soundly during those early morning hours. I wonder if hubby or I toss or turn more in the wee hours, and cause him to have disrupted sleep. I am not ready to move him out of our bed yet (we dont have heat at our house, and I am still a little nervous about leaving him alone in his crib, in the next room), but I am going to move him to the pram and put it next to the bed to see if that helps him sleep more soundly.

I worry about moving him too soon, or sooner than he is developmentally/physically able. But, I have to try and see. Parenting seems to be a lot of trial and error, with a little luck mixed in. Maybe my sleep luck is ready to change, and Little E will sleep through the early morning hours soon. Dont get me wrong--I dont mind getting up with him to nurse or change diapers. In fact, I like spending that quality time with him snuggling and bonding. I just want him to sleep better from the hours of 4am to say 6am.

Lil E is slowly losing all of his baby hair. When he was born, he had the most beautiful brown hair. I would spend hours just caressing his head.

After a few weeks, it started to lighten up and turned a little bit red (my heart smiled as I wondered if he would be a red head). But then, recently, his hair started to fall out, and is being replaced with peachy fine blond hairs. Now I look into his stroller or crib and am shocked and thrilled at my little blond baby boy.

Work Update

I am officially a part-time employee, and a Mom. I started back to work last Thursday. It was difficult leaving the house, but luckily there were no tears from either Elliott or myself.

I was grateful that we had the trial run with the Nanny. This allowed Elliott the necessary time to get used to being with her (and vise versa), and allowed me the time to get acquainted with leaving him with someone else. It also forced me to get out of the house.

Now that I am back at work, I feel like all of my worry was for naught. But, I know that had I not worried so much...I might not feel so positive about my decision. I also realized that I will still be expected to complete the same amount of work...just in less time for half the pay. I am going to try and reset peoples expectations slowly, so as not to put everyone in shock. But, its gonna be a hard transition for everyone to get used to.

I learned from my girlfriend, though, how important it is to set clear expectations and boundaries from the start, and stick to them. I started today. I responded to an email I received from a team member, but since it was 'after hours' for me, I said I would look into it in the AM.

I am also in the process of training a new trainer. She seems like she is going to be awesome, and I have already wondered if she will be better than me. It will take her a while to get ramped I have a little bit of time to work on my game.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

First Laugh

My sweet baby boy laughed today. Just in time for Mommy to go back to work tomorrow. Wish me well!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The (good) news is in

I heard back from boss man today...and all is well. I am still employed. Phew. He said that the owners were willing to work with my Wednesday schedule, at least until I was able to find the necessary coverage. Moreover, I spoke with the Nanny (which I was dreading), and she is also willing to work with my revised work schedule.

How the week will work out is hubby is home 1.5 days, I am home 2 days, and the Nanny will be here 1.5 days. She will also be overlapping with me on 4 hours one day just until she can fill that day with another family. So, while we are paying a few extra bucks a is worth it since I get to keep my job and she stays happy since her salary doesnt change. Plus, I only have to work 8-3pm, which means I get to spend the afternoon with Lil E, and some quality time with him before the nighttime routine kicks in.

Their first day together went as good as can be expected. He was a bit more fussy, didnt nap for as long as he usually does, and wouldnt take a bottle from her. But, he is still getting familiar with her, and tomorrow will be a better day. I am going to leave for the day and let them really try and get used to one another. Plus, being the new, inexperienced Mom that I am...I left today for a few hours and forgot to defrost some milk...oops. Also, it should be a lot easier for her without me in the house, looking over her shoulder.

So, on the agenda for tomorrow is the gym (for the first time since Elliott was born), and lunch with a co-worker and maybe a manicure...who knows! A whole afternoon to myself...whoo hoo!

All in all, I feel pretty good about how things worked out. I am looking forward to getting back to work, and rejoining the ranks.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Monday, October 1, 2007

The wrong reasons

I went to visit a girlfriend and her new baby boy today at the Naval Hospital. When I arrived, she was heading into a breastfeeding class, and asked that I stay and join her. I thought, what the heck...I might learn something!

There were 4 new mommies in the room. They were all memorable in their own unique ways, but there was one who stuck out for the wrong reasons. She was an attractive, young woman and from the look of her and her boyfriend/hubby/baby daddy she was about 20. The class was clearly optional and run by the lactation consultant on staff.

This gals baby started to cry during the class. The young Mom tried to soothe the baby in his bassinet, but was unsuccessful. The lactation consultant allowed the babe to cry for a while, she clearly didn't want to rush the mom or make her more nervous, before she stepped over to the gal and asked her if she would like to feed her baby, since it was rooting and giving all of the signals that he was hungry. The girl quietly said she would rather go back to her room. The LC (strongly) encouraged her to feed him, but if she was more comfortable, to go to the back of the room.

This poor little crying newborn baby was being put on hold due to this young woman's shyness, or modesty. Here we are in a breastfeeding class, in the maternity ward, surrounded by new Moms and their babies, and this gal didn't feel comfortable feeding her baby in front of anyone... In the rear of the class, after several minutes (which for the new Mom, likely felt like 10 years...), the gal was able to get her baby latched on while under the careful drape of her blanket and rejoin the class.

I couldn't help but feel bad for this gal, and moreover for her newborn son. I wondered why this woman was so uncomfortable with her body? Was it youthfulness? Was it insecurity? Was it embarrassment about exposing her breast for her baby to suckle? Was it at her partners insistence that she be modest? Who knows. All I know is that it 'seemed' like her baby was going to be fed only after his mom's modesty issues were addressed...a fact which seems pretty sad to me.

To me...there is nothing sweeter than seeing a baby suckle on its mother breast. There is nothing more satisfying to me than the act of nursing my baby. There is nothing more rewarding than knowing that my baby is growing and thriving with each drop of milk my breasts provide. I only wish I could express to this girl the love, the bond, and the satisfaction that comes from nursing your baby. It supersedes all modesty, and is worth every sore nipple, sleepless night, and extra pound gained.

But, alas...I left the class with my girlfriend, walked her back to her room, said my goodbyes to Mom and beautiful baby boy, and went home to give my baby the breast.

Negotiation in progress...

I spoke with the boss man, and he said that the company was firm in their desire to have me work M, W, Th 8-3 pm (rather than the previously approved M, Th, Fr 8-4:30 pm). And, in addition they want me to work from home on Tuesday for up to 4 hours-checking and responding to email and taking calls from the office, but I wouldn't be expected to call clients.

Aside from having to tell the Nanny that we don't need her on Friday anymore (this is a whole other conversation) Wednesday is the difficult hubby can only take half day. So, I offered up this schedule: Monday 8-3 pm ,Wed 7-12 pm and Thursday 8-3 pm, as well as working from home on Tuesday, and for a couple of hours temporarily on Wednesday as a tentative solution. I also agreed to actively look for a way to work the requested hours on Wed.

Boss Man is going to present it to the owners and let me know tomorrow. He is hopeful, and wants to make it work. In fact, he sounded almost as desperate as I felt to make it work. I asked him why they were changing the schedule that he and I agreed on weeks ago...he didn't know. But, seemed to feel frustrated as he is now in a difficult position too.

I feel confused and like I may have misunderstood a few conversations with the owners. At one point , via email, the owner said...lets wait until late Sept./early Oct. to confirm your schedule. I thought he was just buying time to be sure I wouldn't change my mind again...but, he really meant what he said. I should have addressed how could I wait that long to 'confirm' my schedule...? I have an infant to make arrangements for, and my husband's work schedule has to be considered...not to mention the nanny and her availability.

The good part of this new schedule is that we save 9 hours worth of Nanny pay, I have built in 3 day weekends, and Mondays are often the day many holidays fall on. The bad part is two fold--the Nanny loses 9 hours worth of pay... I am not sure how I am going to break this news to her. It isn't a good idea to make the person who is caring for your most loved baby upset or bitter. Secondly, hubby and I were looking forward to 4 hours worth of overlapping time on Wednesday. I was going to use this day to schedule doctors/dentist/hair appointments. Now, I will either have to take Elliott with me, arrange for a sitter, take time off of work, or go after hours.

More to follow...

Butterflies and 3 month birthdays

I have butterflies in my tummy, as I anxiously await my bosses call at 3pm. Wish me luck...

Today, on a lighter note, is Elliott's 3 month birthday. My sweet boy is 3 months old.