Budgeting for #2

I am a planner, I like to be prepared and I like to know what to expect.  All of this is sometimes to my detriment and the tragic loss of spontaneity and the sudden joy it can bring.

So, since discovering I was pregnant last Saturday (yippee!!!), I have been running through the list of things that will be changing with the arrival of a second child.  I have also been thinking about our budget and how we can survive with 2 children on one income.  Not to mention the challenges of 4 people in our 1000 square foot house, with 2 bedroom and 1 bathroom.  

I have been collecting unemployment since I lost my job in November.  I have been looking for a job, but suspect that my resume must be tainted or marked with a scarlet letter.  Since I graduated from college, I have only worked with mortgage banks, both large and small.  My last position was with a Mortgage Banking Software company and while not a bank or lender, I suspect prospective employers don't see the difference.  And for the record--not a single call back on my resume to date.  

My point is that I have only a few months of unemployment remaining, and then we are limited to one income.  I have posted many times about the long term cuts we have been making to household expenses.  But, we are going to have to make many more cuts in the near future or I would need to get a job.  

Our household expenses are pretty bare bones--mortgage, utilities, groceries, insurance, gas. But, there are still some areas that could use some trimming.  There are the (too) occasional family dinners out (usually at about $40-60 each).   There is my husbands love of IPA that can not be stopped ($10 per 6 pack!!!).   I occasionally meet former co-workers or friends for lunch ($10). Hubby and I usually go to our local coffee house on the weekends for a fancy latte and a pastry, and a milk for the tot ($10 each morning).  That is just to name a few of the monthly incidentals. that we feel we somehow have earned.  

So, my question to you Internet is--how do you wean yourself off of these luxuries without feeling deprived and somehow like you deserve these things, even though you don't have the long term budget for them?  It feels like I am on a diet all over again.  You know the feeling--as soon as you start a diet, you start feeling like you are missing out.  You are hungry even after you have finished your meal.  Will these things just naturally take care of themselves, as we add another member to our household?

And moreover, for those with more than one child--what should I expect as far as expenses? Diapers and Co-payments I know.  But, what else?  

2 tests confirmed it.

*Hyper Emotional
*Heartburn
*Terrible taste in my mouth
*Fatigue
*Restless Leg Syndrome
*No PMS or sweet cravings around when my period was due
*Constipation (yes, already)

Yup, I am 4 weeks pregnant.  2 positive tests confirmed it.  

Yippee!!!  Due date is 11-29-09

Bubbles

Elliott loves bubbles.   It was one of his first words.  He asks me to blow them for him all the time. He loves them in his bath.  But, he can't blow them very well.  I am not sure when kids learn how to blow bubbles, but ours cant really do it well.

We practice about once a week.  Not only because he loves them, but because it is part of the oral therapy we started for him.  You may have noticed that in many photo's we post--he is wearing a stylish baby neck wear (aka: a bib), and if he isn't his shirt is wet.  We often have to change bibs and shirts several times a day.

Since he was an infant, he has had allergies.  I observed it when he was around 6 months old--his eyes would water when he was outside, he would sneeze with frequency, and he always has a throaty noise when he was breathing.  Since his symptoms didn't seem to bother him too much when he was a wee lad, we never sought out a medical or Rx treatment.

However, at his 18 month doctors appointment I mentioned the allergy theory to his Doc.  She asked a few questions, of which we answered yes.  She took a look in his nose--redness, swelling, etc.   Although 6 months early, she prescribed Zyrtec.  A few days after starting the medicine, he immediately was better.  He could finally breathe through his nose, the throat breathing was gone.  

I realized that because he couldn't breathe through his nose-for basically his whole life-he learned to breathe through his mouth.  As a result of being a mouth breather, he didn't learn to swallow his saliva.  And, thus he drools a lot.  

The bubbles are a way to help him learn to control his mouth and lips.  They teach him to blow. We are also reminding him to keep his chin dry as well as to keep his mouth closed.  We will do an exaggerated inhale through the nose while keeping our lips pursed as an example.  Lastly, we are offering him cups with straws over cups with spouts.  

It did seem to be improving, until he started cutting a new tooth.  Now his saliva production has increased and he is chewing on his fingers.   Which means more drool.

All of this doesn't seem to be bother Elliott one bit.  Although he is starting to become aware of the fact that he wears a bib and the other kids don't.  Once he realizes it fully, I will just opt to remove it and let his shirts get wet, changing them often.  Until then, we will continue with our current methods.  His 2 year appointment is fast approaching and once it does we will address the drooling issue with his doctor and hope that our new medical insurance covers occupational therapy or the like.  

Amends

Do you ever wish you were a better a person?  That retrospectively you hadn't made a particular bad decision?  That you had apologized earlier?  That you had attended that baby shower/wedding/birthday party after all?  That you had cleared the air sooner, rather than let your feelings simmer and boil over later?  That you had just said how you felt rather than hold a grudge?  That you were more equipped to handle and share your feelings?  That you hadn't acted selfishly, and had done the 'right' thing?  If only you could express yourself more clearly/with more sympathy/with more... that you would have...  The list could go on and on.

My point is that via Facebook I have been forced to confront several (yes, more than a couple) people that I hurt in the past.  And by forced, let me say that I wanted to clear the air, of course, and initiated the contact.  But, it is a humbling (and somewhat humiliating) experience and one that I hope to come out of a better person.  I also hope that it allows the people I hurt some closure.  Mostly, I hope to come away with my (old) friends forgiveness.  

Have any of you experienced something similar?  How did you get through it?  Did the person forgive you?  Were you able to be friends again?  Was your friendship the same/better/or worse?  Did you regret making amends?  

Stroller Strides

I am finding my groove-slowly.  

I joined an exercise group called Stroller Strides and I am having a blast! The best part is that Elliott comes with me.  He H.A.T.E.D. the childcare center at the gym I formerly attended and that was a large reason why I cancelled my membership (there is also the unemployment factor, but who's counting).  After the hour long exercise class-the kids can all run around and play together.  They even have a weekly playgroup which one of the Mom's host and brings arts and crafts for the kids to play with.  The kick ass part is that the classes are all conducted outside.  So, not only do we get to exercise, be with our children, and have fun...we get to do it all outdoors in the gorgeous San Diego sun.

The exercise is really helping me get back to normal both emotionally and physically.  It is also helping me lose the 10 pounds (yikes) I have gained since I stopped working.