I love being a Mom, and cant wait for my girlfriends (I have 3 close friends and 2 other girlfriends pregnant all at the same time!!!) to have their babies so we all can feel the joy and love that having a child brings. I also cant wait for them to become parents so they can experience for themselves the decisions, struggles and challenges that being a parent inherently comes with.
What I struggle with lately is that parenting requires a level of communication that I don't currently possess. And trying to work through all of the variables is exhausting. Making sure you are setting good examples, guiding their decisions, averting danger while still allowing exploration, showing love and tolerance...etc., etc., etc. Again, I love being a Mom and every ounce of energy expelled is worth it. But, when my closest girlfriends are all in the (first) pregnancy faze--I can scarcely relate my struggles and challenges to them. Nor would I want to spoil any of their joy and expectations.
More accurately though--I don't think they can relate (sorry gals if you are reading this) to how difficult it is to a Mom yet. I will share this example with you to make my point. Before I had a child I was naive enough to tell my MIL that my kid wouldn't be allowed to have toys. Uh huh, yeah right. When I said this she just smiled at me with a knowing look and kept her mouth closed. All the while knowing that I was nuts.
If I could take my MIL's lead and not say anything when similar exchanges occur between me a pregnant friends I would be much better off. It is a struggle for me to listen to my friends say and do things that I suspect (from experience) will turn out different once the child is born. Moreover, it is excruciating for me to listen to people who don't have kids yet give me advise about how to parent my son.
So, my goal and lesson this week is to learn how to be more tolerant and accepting of other peoples feelings and opinions on the matter of parenting. I don't want to be known as the the 'know-it-all' preachy friend--so this is critical. I also need to learn how to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself so that others can learn from their own experiences. But most important is for me to learn how to say what I feel and know is best for my family with more conviction.
Several times over this weekend I should have spoken out about things I wasn't comfortable with as it relates to raising my son, and I didn't. I should have stood my ground on my beliefs and just said that I wasnt comfortable with something. But, for some reason I didn't and regretted not speaking out when I had the chance. I am still sorting this one out, and will let you know what the result is soon.
Phew, I feel better having shared my feelings. It was weighing heavy on me. Now, I can more easily move to the action phase. Comments always welcome.