To my wife –
As we have decided to give virtual gifts this year, I have created you an electronic document that lists all of your gifts in sequential order. Enjoy.
1. Breakfast with Matthew – I thought it would be nice to have Matthew McConaughey make you breakfast since you like him and he would be fun to have breakfast with.
2. Then, you would be escorted by limousine to
3. Then, you would come back to the house and we would head out for a walk through
4. We would probably be hungry. Good thing… because Colin Melloy will be at our house fixing lunch for you. After lunch, you get a private acoustic performance in the living room and a kiss on the cheek from your “other” boyfriend.
5. Then… it’s off to a $1000 shopping spree at
6. I hope you worked up an appetite, because we are going to
7. And when all is said and done… we put Elliott down and you get to snuggle up to me for some sweet lovin’ (pictures too graphic to post)! What a great Valentine’s Day. You must certainly love me! Happy Virtual Valentines.
Now, is my husband awesome or what?