Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The results show

I work hard to be a good parent.  I quit working to be home with my children.  I read and keep up on the various parenting styles and the latest approaches to dealing with tantrums.  I listen to my children and try to be present.  I love my boys more than words can express.  But, boy o'boy do these kids frustrate me.

I am trying to reconcile how to let my kids be kids, while attempting to maintain my sanity and keeping our house erect.  Is it possible?

How do we put aside our quirks and personality nuances and allow the little people around us to exist and be happy?  I am struggling with this very idea.  Often times I am finding my rules and limitations are what is standing in the way of our families peaceful existence.  That is not to say that my rules and limits aren't healthy and safe.  I am just pointing out that I am usually the one with the limits and rules, as well as their enforcer.

I want my kids to express their true personalities, to be comfortable in their own skin, and to be confident with their decisions.  I feel like they wont learn these lessons if I am telling them "No" all of the time.  I am certain that I am over simplifying it, but I nonetheless feel guilty with the amount of times in a day I am saying No.

Redirecting 1 child was much easier than attempting to redirect 2 children.  Especially when the second child is often times in danger of hurting himself.

I am still working hard to be a great parent, but it is taking its toll on my self esteem these last few weeks.  I am slowly coming to terms with the changes that I need to make, the limits that I need to set and enforce, and rethinking the way I communicate with the kiddos.  I am dreading the work, but I long for the results.