I have just been hit by the wave. The wave of realization that I am now, today, in my third trimester. I am 28 weeks pregnant and in just a few weeks (I am counting on only 10 more weeks--not a day longer), I will be holding my wonderful new son in my arms. I am relying on the fact that Elliott was 10 days early, and the rate this one is growing and moving should bring him sooner rather than later as well.
The parenting part, while daunting in its uncertainty, doesn't worry me. I know that things will work out as they should. The gear planning part is what I was initially worried about. When should I put the car seat in? When should I start washing and organizing his clothes. Should I buy diapers now or later? What should I do to prepare Elliott for his arrival? What about the dog and cat?
I am also worried about who will take care of Elliott when I go into labor, or worse if I end up having to have another C-section. We don't have any family in San Diego, and my family rarely, if ever, comes to visit. The closest family we have is 3 hours away. What if I go into labor at night while he is sleeping--who do we call?
What do most people do in this situation? I struggle with the issue of asking for help. I have a large network of friends, but most have small children of their own, as well as careers to think about. I also have 2 friends that are pregnant at the same time as I am -- one is due 5 weeks before me and the other is due 5 weeks after. I cant ask them--they have enough to worry about. I also wouldn't want to leave Elliott with someone he barely knows, particularly during such a transitory time in his life.
I have mentioned in previous posts how very small our house is. Being just 2 bedrooms/1 bathroom and 1000 sq feet--having people stay here is a logistical challenge. And this applies spatially as well as personally for me. When there are things in my life that I can not control (a new baby, sleeplessness, a stir crazy toddler, things our of place, etc.), I struggle to ensure order around me-and that usually starts with my home. Often times this is an endless hopeless battle, but I still will try to fight it.
So many of the little details are now upon me. I need to start making decisions, rather than just pondering the what if's. Any suggestions or advice is welcome. De-lurk and add a comment!