I have heard from several Mom’s who have multiple children (that is more than one child, not twins) that they did their worst parenting while they were pregnant. And then I heard that the Duggar’s are expecting their 19th child as well as their 1st grandchild.
I wonder sometimes why I can’t do it all, why I feel so overwhelmed. And then I feel guilty because I can’t seem to hold it together. I lose my temper so easily. And then that leads me into wondering if I am trying hard enough to be a good person (insert wife, mom, friend as needed). Am I weak? Am I a slacker, a cop-out? I become riddled with guilt if I allow my son to watch a video because I am just to exhausted to explain to him (over and over until a meltdown ensues) about why we limit TV time. I spend the entire day beating myself up for being short with my hubby. I curse my lack of self control when I eat yet another cookie instead of an apple. It reminds me why I don’t ask for help more often. I suck at being vulnerable.
And in the next breath, I am happy again with myself. I am forgiven. I feel like in any given day I do accomplish a lot. I am a good parent. I remind myself that my son is joyful, polite, clean, and kind. I am a good wife and caring friend. My house is clean and organized. Our bills are paid. Everyone’s doctor and dental visits are scheduled and attended. Baby #2 is growing, kicking like a pro-soccer player and healthy. I forgive myself for allowing my raging hormones to get the best the of me. I visit my due date calculator as affirmation that this emotional struggle won't last forever, there is an end in sight.
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