Monday, March 19, 2007

Insomnia cubed

I have never really been affected physically by changes in my emotional state. That is to say that my appetite, sleeping patterns, etc. were always pretty stable regardless of what was going on in my personal life (that is not to say that I was not emotionally affected...).

That is, of course, until I got pregnant.

Now...I eat constantly...which is why I have gained almost 20 lbs and still have 15 weeks to go.
I am emotional and sensitive...I over think everything and cant take a joke.
I also don't sleep with any solidity or consistency. I wake up at least 3-7 times a night, and actually get out of bed 2-4 times. Sometimes, I can't get back to sleep because my mind is racing or I am having a vivid/disturbing dream. (...why couldn't I have sex dreams like my friends had?)

All of this is fine, of course because the little being inside of me is growing healthily and steadily. I will lose the weight (eventually), my husband understands that my hormones are in control and not me, and I am not that tired during the day. But, it is getting a little frustrating.

I am also tired of hearing-'get used to it' that 'this is what being a parent feels like', or that 'this will help prepare you for motherhood'. First off, during the first 3 months of my motherhood reign I wont have to get up every day and go to work. And secondly, my husband will be able to help with the parenting. Lastly, after my son is born...I hope to gain some semblance of hormonal control over my body (baring postpartum!!!).

But maybe I am living in a fantasy world...and perhaps I am delirious and tired for not getting enough sleep, and eating too much sugar. I am not in a position to decide.

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